My First Blog Reposted!

Can't believe I never actually cross-posted this here, considering it was the first ever journal I wrote, and it's the one that seems to have earned a fair bit of scorn from the crying, ignorant masses of Naruto yaoi fans. Anyway, here it is, read, and enjoy.

Sasunaru is a popular pairing in the Naruto shipping fandom. Now, while shipping as a whole annoys the crap out of me, this one probably bugs me the worst of the lot. Maybe it's the sheer ridiculousness of the "Canon evidence" that people try to argue, or the general pisspoor attitudes and lack of maturity I've seen from Sasunaru fangirls, I'm not sure. Either way, here's my list of reasons the pairing makes no sense, fails in general, and why the fandom for it pisses me off.

Anti-Sasunaru and my problem with the fangirls.

1. The Characters Are Not Gay.

It's stated very clearly that Naruto has a crush on Sakura. In fact it's one of his motivations for bringing Sasuke back home. (Trust me, I know a lot about wanting to see the girl you're in love with happy, even if it means giving her up to someone else.) Throughout the whole series, it's present. Now, Sasuke on the other hand has shown interest in nobody. All he's shown is an interest to defeat Itachi, and then destroy Konoha. Just because he doesn't show any interest in, well, anything doesn't make him gay. And as far as "LULZ, Naruto's Bi!" No. He's not. And that "Kiss" which so many sad little individuals squeed over in episode 3 was an accident. Which as with basically everything was warped and taken way out of context by Sasunaru fangirls. Which brings me to point Numero Dos.

2. Friendship is Friendship, Romance is Romance. There's a Difference.

Simply because there is a strong bond between Sasuke and Naruto doesn't mean it's one of "Romance." I once heard someone say "Sasunaru isn't about the sex, it's about the bond." That's ridiculous. Naruto and Sasuke clearly state before and during their fight before Sasuke takes off that their relationship is that similar to two brothers. that's BROTHERS, not LOVERS, fools. Any instances of friendship or a brotherly bond seem to be interpreted as "OMG, They're MEANT FOR EACH OTHER! IT'S LOVE! *Cue "It's Just Love" from Gundam Wing in background*" by fangirls. It's ridiculous. I once heard the brilliant (!) reasoning that Naruto likes Sasuke because he commented on his appearance in the Chunin Exams. Damn, I could be wrong here but whenever one of my mates got a tattoo or a haircut or something and I paid them a compliment, I don't think that was shorthand for "Hey, bro, wanna engage in some SODOMY?!" Naruto's pining over the loss of his friend may seem "overboard" to some people, but keep in mind, Naruto has grown up with no-one, other than Iruka as a mentor, so when he finally found friends, and one of them betrayed him, of course he's gonna be affected by it in a big way.

3. Naruto Is Not Yaoi.

Sasunaru fangirls can dribble, dream, drool, etc, all they want, but the fact remains that the target audience for Naruto is young males. And things have changed a lot since I was a little dude, but I'm pretty sure most boys don't want to see two guys kissing or nailing each other, and I know most parents would not let their kids read or watch anything with that content, which is why most yaoi DVDs you'll see carry a rating of "R" or "M" (Don't know what the American Equivalent is.) And before you ask, some DVD stores put Gravitation in with the other anime. Sure, you have to occasional moment of fanservice, like with Konohamaru's version of the sexy jutsu, or the ACCIDENTAL (Key word, ACCIDENTAL) kiss in episode 3. Those were done as comedy, and don't indicate a damn thing. Which brings me to point yonban.

4. There Is No Kishimoto Interview.

Something I keep hearing time and again without fail is that Masashi Kishimoto did and interview where he claims he likes Yaoi and wants to make Naruto a Yaoi. Bullshit. The fangirls can't even keep their sources straight. I've heard he's stated it interviews at American Anime Conventions, I've heard he's stated it at Japanese Anime Conventions, I've even heard that he's stated it in an interview with Shonen Jump itself. (Yeah, because Shonen Jump would be REALLY happy with yaoi in their manga.) And yet I've never actually read or seen any interviews with him on the subject. No fangirls can ever cough up links either, which is why I believe that there is no interview, and it's just something fangirls made up to try and make their ridiculous logic seem "reasonable" or "truthful."

5. It's All About the Lover's Bond/Yeah Right.

My question is this: If it's "All about the bond" with these two, why are there so many idiots trying to argue "It's Sasunaru!" "No, It's Narusasu!" "Sasuke's the Uke!" "No, Naruto'd never settle for that!", huh? It's so stupid. That's like trying to argue over which of Goku's friends he'd kill first outta Yamcha and Piccolo. He'd never do it, much like Sasuke and Naruto will never happen as a couple, so why argue? Talk about pointless flame wars.

6. Stop Trying to Make It Sound Less Perverted.

Ok, really. Enough with the abuse of terms. Calling them "Uke and Seme" rather than "Bitch" and "Butch" doesn't make you classy. And trying to deny that Yaoi is simply Gay Porn in Animated form is bullcrap, because really, that's all it is. Fullstop. And if you like Naruto Yaoi featuring any of the younger characters, it's pedophilia on top of that. Those of you who go out and openly BRAG about being perverted aren't doing yourselves any favours. Going out and proclaiming "Yeah, I'm a pervert and I'm proud!" doesn't make it any less pitiful. That's like OJ Simpson running out and proclaiming "I'm a thieving murderer and I'm proud!" doesn't alleviate anything, it just proves he's a dick. And that goes for Sasunaru fangirls, too. (Apart from the thieving murderer part.)

7. Just Because People Hate Yaoi Doesn't Mean They're Homophobes.

Break out the dictionaries, children: homophobe: Someone who hates and discriminates against homosexuals. Now, I could be wrong here, but last I checked, Sasuke and Naruto aren't gay. And Yaoi doesn't appeal to me. Also, I find it funny that on occasion you'll be called a "homophobe" yet get "You probably like Yuri!" Uh, yeah, if I were a homophobe, I wouldn't like Yuri either based on the fact that they're gay too... Yaoi's not to my taste, but that doesn't make me a homophobe. And I don't like Yuri either, based onthe fact that I don't like cartoon porn all that much. I mean, what, does someone not liking amputee porn mean they hate amputees? I don't think so. I'm a guy. I don't want to see two guys kissing or doing anything sexual. Do I have a problem with people who are gay who do do that sorta thing? Hells no, I don't have a problem with them. The only ones with problems are the people who see gays as something to simply sexually gratify their perverse sexual desires. I mean, you have people who think hetero sex (You know, the kind that most people engage in, and how you make babies? Despite how MPreg fans think. Yuck.) is disgusting. Going by that, you're HETEROphobes, but in all fairness, at least it means my kids (if I ever have any) won't have to grow up with yours.

8. Stop Trying to Pass the Buck.

OK, whenever someone complains about how much Sasunaru sucks, DO NOT go onto the video/rant/whatever and post something to the effect of "If you don't like it, ignore it!" or some such crap like that. If you expect us to ignore it, why post it in the first damn place? "Why don't you complain about something else?" Because none of the others are EVERYWHERE. It's not that crap like Itasasu doesn't bug me, (Because that's not only crap, it's fucking disgusting. Incest is fucking gross.) it's just not as prevalent. "Why don't you rip on other pairings like Sakusasu or Naruhina?" When the fans start pissing me off to a decent enough extent, I will. Plus at least those pairings have a chance of happening. And besides, after watching the episode where Sasuke takes off, watching Sakura declare how "Utterly, totally, madly in love with him she was", I wanted to totally, utterly, madly walk over to the toilet bowl and puke. THAT was nausiating. "Fans of the other pairings are just as annoying!" Yeah, they are, but the point is that every time someone posts something anti-Sasunaru, idiot fangirls dive in with poorly spelt abuse or pathetic attempts to belittle anyone who hates that crap. You try to play the "It's just fanfiction!" card, but hey, you don't see people trying to turn Gravitation characters STRAIGHT, so don't turn Naruto's gay. I mean, really, can we not have a good anime without some fangirls who're unable to keep their minds outta the gutter fucking it up? It's bullshit. "Oh, why don't you write a rant about Yuri fanboys! Sexist!" No. It's just Yuri fanboys aren't as damn vocal. It's like they say, out of sight, out of mind. If Yaoi fangirls would get out of my sight, I know I wouldn't mind.

9. Grow Up. Seriously.

For every well-thought, and somewhat possibly intellectual response from Sasunaru fangirls, there are at least 50 more that crap all over any possible good-will from people like myself who hate Sasunaru and Sasunaru fangirls themselves. For example, posting this, watch as I recieve about 10 or so "Fuck you too!" or "Yaoi rules!" or "Sasunaru forever!" comments from stupid people who actually seem to think posting things like that actually prove something other than their own stupidity. And really, hating characters like Karin and Sakura because "OMG! They get in the way of my OTP!" is SO TOTALLY LAME! Maintaining a morbid, rabid hatred of a fucking drawing is one of the most pitiful things I've ever heard, things like "I hate that Sakura bitch! Karin's a whore! Hinata's a cunt", etc, are just sad, and signs of either total insanity, or complete immaturity. Although, the same applies for when you have a crush on Sasuke or whatever, even if you're NOT a Yaoi fangirl. "Sasuke is mine" flame wars are equally, if not slightly more pathetic. And seriously, names like "Sasunaru108" or "Yaoilover316" REALLY show a sign of no life. It means that your life is consumed by Yaoi. See, I like anime and whatnot, but come on, they don't consume my life. I have other interests. I don't go around forcing my interests on people, so stop doing the same.

10. What the Fuck Are Kids Doing Getting Into This Shit?

I'm getting more than a little disgusting by the number of 12/13/14 year olds who keep trying to argue with people on Yaoi videos. What the fuck are little kids doing getting into gay-themed Anime porn? Yeah, sure, the characters are underage themselves, but that doesn't make it right. Someone's screwed up as far as being responsible parents go, and I know I'd be hopping made if my kids were getting into that sorta crap.

--Conclusion--
In conclusion, I'd just like to say that I don't like Sasunaru, and the fangirls are a big reason for my dislike. Sure, all Naruto Yaoi/Yuri is disgusting crap and makes no reasonable sense whatsoever, and most of it is pedophilia, but if it wasn't for the fangirls constantly trying to make up ridiculous excuses to try and claim that what they're doing isn't wrong, or they weren't all parading around the internet all smug and whatnot, I'd probably keep my damn yap shut. And no, I'm not a homophobe. Sure, I don't like Yaoi, or Shonen-Ai, or Shonen-Respek', or Shonen-Big Up Yo'self for da West Staines Massiv', or any other Ali G inspired manga genres, but that's simply because I don't like seeing good anime turned into smut and whatever. Sasunaru doesn't exist within any canonical realm, and is simply wishful thinking of a few horny fangirls who really need to grow up and get over themselves. And if you're going to flame me for this rant, at least read the damn thing first. I reckon I make some good points.